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Questions & Answers - Behavior Concerns
My child does great at school but she is just aggressive. She
turned 3 in February and is the youngest in her preschool class. The
other kids are turning 4. The problem is there is a new teacher in
her class and my child has picked up a very aggressive behavior
toward her friends. I don't know what to do. My husband think she
has A.D.D.
My first suggestion would be to schedule a sit down meeting with her
new teacher to discuss your concerns regarding your daughter's
aggressive behavior. There is always a reason behind a behavior and
together you need to figure out why she is being aggressive towards her
friends. Is she on target with her speech and language skills and social
skills? Sometimes children with delays in speech or social skills will
use hitting or other aggressive behaviors to get attention or to get
their point across if they don't have the other necessary skills in
place. Is she overly tired? Does she get a lot of attention when she
acts out in the classroom? Preschoolers without delays are still prone
to temper tantrums, aggression and fighting over toys and this is not
out of the ordinary. Preschoolers in group settings are even more prone
to these behaviors.
What you need to establish for your daughter is whether this is
typical for her age or if you think it's something more. Also, your
child's teacher needs to have skills in behavior management in the
classroom. If you are seeing these behaviors at home and school you and
your child's teacher need to establish a behavior plan so that you can
all be consistent in managing these behaviors and eventually diminishing
them. For most acting out behaviors, the smartest thing parents &
teachers can do is to be consistent, and to anticipate times when
problems may occur. You have to be proactive, and head off situations in
which there are likely to be meltdowns, aggression or tantrums. Parents
and teachers can divert attention, for example, offering one child a
different toy when two children are fighting over something.
Offer choices when appropriate, explain things on the child's
level, and enlist the child's cooperation as a helper in the
classroom. Ignore what can be ignored, pick your battles and always
lavish on praise when your child is behaving appropriately. Let them
learn that they receive attention for behaving, rather than for
misbehaving. Behavior sometimes escalates with changes, so a new
teacher can be one reason she may be acting out, especially if she
was attached to her other teacher. Basically at age 3 most children
are still learning to self-regulate and most behaviors, although
bothersome and worrisome at the time they occur (biting, hitting,
etc) do not usually continue long term and by the time children are
4 they are much better at self regulation.
So if your daughter was 4 going on 5 and still demonstrating
these behaviors, I would say it would be a bigger concern. If you
have concerns that your daughter's behavior is escalating or not
improving over time, you could seek an early intervention evaluation
with your local 3-5 service provider. But, I would definitely start
with meeting with your child's teacher. For more information on
behavior and self regulation you can check out these links on our
web page:
self-regulation,
changing behavior,
behavior management.
Back to: Therapist
Questions & Answers - Behavior Concerns
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