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Questions & Answers - Behavior Concerns
I've been having some issues with my 8 year-old daughter.
She's having distraction problems in school and now is getting worst
because she's keeping things from us. She tells us that she's done
with her homework but then we realize that she didn't finish
everything. I'm very concern and would like to get some help as I
have talked to her multiple times and promised her many things but
don't see too many results.
Have you discussed this with your daughter's teacher? If she is
distracted at school or having trouble concentrating and is now
lying about getting homework done, could it be the work is too hard
for her and she is afraid or embarrassed to tell anyone? The first
thing to do is find out why she is lying about homework being done
and why she is not paying attention at school. Sometimes kids lie
because they fear consequences or because they hope to avoid chores
or responsibilities. Look into whether the expectations at home or
in school are too high for her. If you speak with her teacher and
you both feel that her inattentiveness in class could be related to
attention deficit disorder rather than an inability to do the work,
than you should speak to the school's guidance counselor and get a
referral to a child psychologist who can conduct testing to rule out
ADD.
You said you have had several talks with your daughter that have
done no good. The most important thing you can do is stay calm and
let your daughter know how much you appreciate it when she does tell
the truth. Be aware, too, that being caught in a lie or singled out
for not paying attention can be extremely embarrassing for her, so
take care to reassure her that you still love her even if she has
done something you would rather she had not done. Because she is 8,
if it is only the homework that she is not doing and lying about,
then make it a point to have her do her homework each night at the
table in front of you so you can be sure it is completely finished
and assess for yourself whether the work is too hard for her.
You can make a reward chart or use a token jar for her at home as
an incentive to complete homework. This
link has many charts and ideas you can use or this link explains
the
use of a token jar for behavior.
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Questions & Answers - Behavior Concerns
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